It is up to you if you want to take this seriously or not. Really, it is. I personally feel some of these ideas are good, if not a little funny/wacky/cheeseburger.
When you are dating someone, there is always awkward moments. whether the relationship has just started or has been going on for a while now, you are likely to run into these at some point.
Note - Some of these apply to one gender more than the other.
Appearance Insecurity - In modern society, a great deal of emphasis is placed on appearance. Now, let me say; looks aren't everything, but neither is personality. Fact of the matter is looks matter to most people on some level, and some people think it matters too much. So this leads to the question (usually asked by a girl), "Does this make me look fat?" or " Does this make my butt look big?"
This puts guy's in an awkward position (and a really awkward position for girls). Do you tell the truth and risk the wrath of a woman scorned? Or do you lie and risk the wrath of a woman scorned?
My solution is simple; a distraction.
Effective distractions:
First Kiss - There is a lot of awkwardness with this one. Most girls are unwilling to make the first move, and most guys are afraid to make the first move. Usually this involves a lot of close leaning, until finally (usually the guy) decides to kiss and run. Usually leaving the girl confused, angry, or upset. So how can you ease the awkwardness?
Meeting Parents - isn't that awkward? Whether you are meeting her parents or his parents, it's awkward. Because there will be questions. There will be strange looks. And there might even be subtle threats. Dress nicely and stand tall; looks help. anyway...
Things to say when asked:
Marriage proposals - While I personally don't believe all that jazz about marriage that wedding planners, jewelers, Christians and other various religions, I'll still try to help.
Where to propose:
When you are dating someone, there is always awkward moments. whether the relationship has just started or has been going on for a while now, you are likely to run into these at some point.
Note - Some of these apply to one gender more than the other.
Appearance Insecurity - In modern society, a great deal of emphasis is placed on appearance. Now, let me say; looks aren't everything, but neither is personality. Fact of the matter is looks matter to most people on some level, and some people think it matters too much. So this leads to the question (usually asked by a girl), "Does this make me look fat?" or " Does this make my butt look big?"
This puts guy's in an awkward position (and a really awkward position for girls). Do you tell the truth and risk the wrath of a woman scorned? Or do you lie and risk the wrath of a woman scorned?
My solution is simple; a distraction.
Effective distractions:
- Reply with "I don't know, but do these pants make my penis look big?"
- Reply with "...I've seen you naked. And then we had sex. Do you remember that? I remember that..."
- Grab a Twix
- Make sexual advances
- If all else fails, lie.
First Kiss - There is a lot of awkwardness with this one. Most girls are unwilling to make the first move, and most guys are afraid to make the first move. Usually this involves a lot of close leaning, until finally (usually the guy) decides to kiss and run. Usually leaving the girl confused, angry, or upset. So how can you ease the awkwardness?
- Be daring. Don't make the first kiss a quick peck and run. sweep her off her feat. Dip her low, kiss passionately, then bring her back up, and smile. Don't say anything. Just smile.
- Multiple kisses. Again, rather than a quick peck and run, give more than one kiss. think mild make out session in a library or similar public facility.
- If all else fails, (I mean, if you can't do the others previously mentioned) kiss and run like the hounds of hell are on your tail. Hey, why change a classic?
Meeting Parents - isn't that awkward? Whether you are meeting her parents or his parents, it's awkward. Because there will be questions. There will be strange looks. And there might even be subtle threats. Dress nicely and stand tall; looks help. anyway...
Things to say when asked:
- Schooling - If you have graduated, say so. however, if you aren't going to college, pretend you want to go at some point (even if you don't).
- Personal life/Hobbies - stay vague; they don't need to know that you collect novelty condoms.
- Religion/politics - suicide topics. Avoid them like the plague.
- Keep your mouth shut as much as possible - you can't get in trouble for what you don't say.
- If all else fails, pretend you are Irish.
- If you fail at pretending to be Irish - Pretend you are something else!
Marriage proposals - While I personally don't believe all that jazz about marriage that wedding planners, jewelers, Christians and other various religions, I'll still try to help.
Where to propose:
- Avoid public - sure, it might seem romantic, but do you really want to risk her saying no in front of hundreds/thousands/millions of people?
- Private - it is usually best. Seriously...if she says no, you can both pretend neither of you asked a question.
- If all else fails, (I mean, all else fails; dams break, earthquakes happen, hell is spilling on to earth) send a text message.
- Be romantic
- Be sincere
- Don't use a text message
- Pick a time you are comfortable with - start off the evening with it, half way through, or near the end. (Near the end is best)
- Pretend to tie your shoe then pop the question.
- If all else fails, blurt it out, tell her to text you the answer, and run like the hounds of hell are after your bacon.
haha x'DD Ayes I dig this;; has humor;; And humor is always good;; can't go wrong with it;; think it will help;; others that are in relationship sorta jams;; newbies and the likes;; and what I do like about this;; was it tells it from a male's point of view;; I did get that vibe;; and as a "female" it was "interesting" reading this, but think both sexes can take/learn something from this.
ReplyDeleteIf Part 2 is in the works;; post away.
thoroughly enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteThis Article gave me something completely different to be self conscious about, thanks. Now i need to make sure i pick out pants that make my penis look big.
ReplyDelete